Missing Pictures
by pelagia911
Summary: A car accident leaves Dean and Castiel in bad shape, but when Castiel wakes up three months later with no memory of his life, Dean has to adjust and decide how much to tell Castiel and how much to leave him to learn again.
1. Chapter 1

It was all his fault. He had been the one pushing Castiel to do it that night. Castiel wanted to wait to plan something bigger, but Dean wanted to rush to the courthouse and do it now. He figured ten years had been long enough to wait. Now he would give anything to give Castiel one more day to plan a party for their wedding. They were on their way downtown when a semi ran a red light and crushed into the side of his car, Castiel's side.

When Dean woke up, it had been two days since the crash and his brother's face was the first thing he saw. "Dean," Sam leaned over his bed, a wide grin on his face, "you're awake."

"Obviously." His throat cracked and his voice broke painfully, making him cough.

"Here," Sam handed him a cup of water with a straw, "they said your throat would probably be sore."

Grabbing for the cup, Dean finally felt the pain of his broken fingers and seriously banged up arms. He sipped some water and eased the scratching in his throat. He could tell his lips and one eye were swollen. "Where's Cas?" Sam's small smile fell. "Sam?"

"He's alive." Sam reassured him quickly. "But, he's not awake yet. Jess and mom are checking on him now."

Dean's heart rate increased as the fear of losing Castiel surfaced. "He'll be okay though, right?"

He saw his brother hesitate. "Yeah, of course. I should," he stood and put a hand on Dean's bed, "go tell the girls that you're up. I'll be right back."

Dean nodded as Sam left. In the silence, he was able to feel his other injuries. His head was throbbing, at least one knee had to be badly bruised if not broken, his right arm was in a cast, and his nose felt crooked. Castiel had been on the side the truck hit, he couldn't imagine the shape he was in.

He suddenly felt sick thinking about the accident and how he felt responsible for what happened. Neither one of them would've been out if he hadn't pushed it so hard. He couldn't even begin to mourn over how destroyed his car had to be before Sam and company showed up.

"Dean!" His mother rushed to the bed and grabbed his hand, careful to avoid his broken fingers. "I would hug you…" she let the sentence die before smiling with tears in her eyes.

He couldn't fight back the tears as his mom let them fall freely. The tears burned his injured eye. He wiped them away and tried to laugh, "Come on, did you really think one stupid driver could get rid of me?" They all smiled.

"That's not funny, Dean." Sam shook his head.

A knock on the door was their only warning before a nurse entered the room. "Hello." She walked in slowly, holding a chart and smiling. "Welcome back, Dean. How do you feel?" She moved to stand next to his bed as everyone else backed away to give her room.

"I've been better," Dean looked closer at her nametag, "Carmen." He gave her a smile.

"I'm sure." She wrote something on her chart and returned the smile. "Any extreme pain or soreness?"

Dean shrugged. "My head is a little sore, but I figure that's normal."

"Okay." She wrote more on the chart before looking up. "I'll get you some more meds for your head and check on you later."

"Sounds great."

She was on her way out when Sam stopped her. "How soon do you think he'll be released?"

Carmen thought for a moment. "We'll have to keep him at least one more day for observation. He does have head trauma we need to make sure isn't more serious, but if everything goes alright, he should be released tomorrow."

"Thank you." Sam sighed and smiled. "That's great, Dean."

"Yeah." He picked at his IVs absently. "I guess." He didn't want to ask, but he needed to know. "What's the damage with Cas? And don't lie to me." He added as his mom shook her head. The three of them looked at each other worriedly. "See, that doesn't help."

"I'll go get everyone some coffee." Jessica, Sam's wife, grabbed his arm gently before leaving for the cafeteria.

Sam pulled a chair closer to the bed for Mary and sat beside his mom. "He's down the hall. Obviously, his injuries are more extensive, but the doctors are hopeful that he'll wake up soon."

"Sam," Dean knew that Sam was able to rant endlessly, being a lawyer, but he didn't need that right now, "just tell me."

He nodded and licked his lips. "There's a lot of head trauma, maybe some brain damage. They won't know fully until he wakes up." He paused briefly. "If he wakes up."

Dean felt tears welling up again, but he held them back. "What do you mean, if?"

"He's in a coma. They're not sure if he will wake up. He's not on life support yet but he isn't getting better."

"Is he getting worse?"

"No, but it's only been a couple days." Mary dropped her head next to Sam and started crying again. Sam put his arm around her. "He also has a broken leg and arm, and there was some internal bleeding when they brought him in. He's been in and out of surgery a couple times already."

"He'll wake up." Dean blinked quickly a few times as tears burned him again. "He has to." Jessica walked back in with three coffees. "I want to see him."

"They don't want you walking around, Dean. Your knee is pretty bad and crutches wouldn't really work with your hand and arm."

"Then get a damn wheelchair or something!" He was shaking in anger and fear. If Castiel didn't survive, Dean would never forgive himself.

"I'll see if that's okay." Jessica worked at the hospital so she knew who to talk to for anything.

"Honey," his mom reached over for his hand again, "I'm so glad you're okay. I need to go call your father." She stood and followed Jessica out.

"Dad and Bobby are working on fixing the car." Sam sipped his coffee.

"How bad is it?" He groaned, not knowing if he wanted to hear the answer.

"It's bad. Any sane person would have called it done and sold the parts."

"Dammit. Of course, Dad and Bobby aren't sane so it'll be okay." They sat quietly and listened to the beeping of the machinery. He leaned back into his pillow. "Sam, this is my fault."

Sam furrowed his brows. "What? Dean, no it isn't. It's not even close to being your fault. Your light was green, you were doing the speed limit. The other guy ran the light going way too fast and I made sure he got the worst sentence possible."

Dean couldn't help but smile as Sam got defensive. He had just started working at a law firm in the city a few months before, having just graduated from Stanford. "Good. But, you're wrong. It's my fault that Cas is in that room."

"Dean, come on…"

"He didn't want to get married that day."

"What?"

"He kept telling me to wait. He wanted to get a place to hold a reception and have the whole party thing and I pushed him until he gave in. It was because of me that we were driving. If I had just listened, we would be having a dance right now as a married couple."

Sam hadn't known about any of that. He knew it had been Dean's idea, but not to that extent. "That doesn't change anything I said, Dean. None of this was your fault. If you start blaming yourself, it'll eat you up inside."

"Especially if Cas dies." Dean could hardly say those words. The thought made him feel sick again.

"He won't."

Jessica entered the room with a wheelchair. "Okay, we have twenty minutes before we get in trouble for jacking the chair. Come on." She motioned for Sam and Dean to move.

With his brother's help, Dean walked to the chair and Jessica wheeled him down the hall. Dean immediately regretted his decision. Castiel looked awful. He was pale and already thinning from being on a liquid feeding tube, his face was bruised, and what skin he could see was red or black. The doctors were probably amazed he was even alive.

"We'll give you a few minutes." Sam touched his shoulder gently and walked Jessica out to give them privacy.

Dean was afraid to touch Castiel. He didn't want to hurt him more. "Cas," his voice cracked and he couldn't stop it anymore. He let the tears form and fall. "I'm so sorry, Cas. I'm sorry." He covered his face with his hand as his body shook in despair. If he saw a picture of someone in Castiel's condition, he would give them a day, maybe two and it made Dean lose what hope he had.

He reached out his better arm and touched Castiel's hand gently, it was colder than he expected. Castiel was always warm, he ran hot. Dean would be in layers whining about the cold while Castiel walked around in his boxers and t-shirt saying he was warm. "I know I did this, Cas, but please," he had to stop as sobs escaped his throat, "please come back." He curled his fingers as best he could around the cold, immobile hand. "I need you."

He sat like that for fifteen more minutes when Sam and Jessica came back in. He was rubbing Castiel's hand. Sam asked him how he was doing. "Cas's hands are cold." His tears were gone, and his voice was flat. He needed to hold himself together now. "They're too cold."

Sam and Jessica shared worried looks. "I'm sure he's fine, Dean."

"We'll tell them to turn the heat up." Jessica started rolling Dean away but he grabbed Castiel's hand tighter.

"I wanna stay."

"You can't. When you're discharged, you can, but not now." Jessica moved to crouch beside the chair. "I'm sure he was just waiting for you to wake up. When he hears you talking and waiting for him, he'll join you." She covered Dean's hand with hers. "He needs you to get better first."

Dean let his hand be moved from Castiel. Jessica was warm. Her kind eyes and smile made him think maybe she was right. He had woken up, right? Castiel would too. They took him back to his room. The rest of the day and night he was visited by his dad, Bobby, and their friends Ellen and Jo. They were all happy to see him and kept him optimistic about Castiel.

He was discharged the next day when he showed improvement. He was told to take it easy and let his body heal. They didn't need to worry because all he did was change and move himself to Castiel's room as a permanent visitor.

On the days Jessica worked, Dean was able to get his food brought to him and a pass to sleep in the chair in Castiel's room. Other nights, he was kicked out for the night. He hated going home alone. His house was so big and empty without Castiel. He couldn't sleep the nights he was home.

The first month passed and Dean's injuries healed some. But his faith in Castiel's recovery slipped more every day he didn't progress. His excuse to not go into work at the office ran out part-way through the second month and he accepted their offer to let him go. He couldn't work with Castiel in the hospital.

As the third month started and all remains of Dean's injuries had disappeared, Dean's family grew concerned about him. He barely left the room and he talked even less. If anyone asked, he told them he had to be there when Castiel woke up. Even the news that his Impala was almost completely back to how it was before couldn't snap him out of this.

Even Dean was beginning to think he was crazy until the one day he had been waiting for arrived. Sam had just arrived to try once again to drag Dean out of the hospital for a meal at least when Castiel made a small noise. Dean was immediately at his side. His eyes were moving behind his lids and slowly Dean was able to see the blue eyes he had missed so much.

Sam ran off to get a doctor or nurse as Castiel opened his eyes fully. Dean smiled for the first time in months. "Cas." Castiel looked at Dean and furrowed his brows. "Hey. It's so good to see you awake, man."

They had switched Castiel's feeding tube to an IV a while back so he could talk now. Dean will never forget his first words. "I'm sorry, who are you?" It was faint but unmistakable and it hurt more than Dean could've imagined. "Where am I?"

Dean couldn't answer before the nurses and doctor pushed him away to look Castiel over. He and Sam were outside the room. "Dean, what is it? Shouldn't you be celebrating right now?" Sam was beaming. He had honestly been expecting the worst and didn't understand Dean's fallen face.

"He didn't know who I was."

That was enough to send Sam's smile away. "Dean…" he reached out for his brother but Dean stepped back.

"They said this could happen. There was brain damage."

"He could've just been disoriented."

Dean shook his head. "I doubt it." He hadn't expected this, but it was fitting. He had put Castiel in that bed. Now he was being taken from his life. He would lose Castiel forever.

"Let's just wait for what the doctor says." Sam could see the wheels spinning in Dean's mind and he wanted to keep him there.

It was the news they expected. "He has some memory loss. He knows what a hospital is and how to do everything but not his name or what's happened in his life. Sometimes this is temporary and the memories come back as the patient is reminded of things, but sometimes it's not. His other injuries have healed but we need to observe him a few days before we let him leave. He'll be able to eat and drink normally now and we'll have to get him up and moving to strengthen his muscles again but he will be able to go home once he's strong enough."

"Thank you." Sam shook his hand and went back in to see Castiel with Dean behind him. "Hi, Cas." He waved and moved to the foot of the bed.

"I'm sorry, I don't…"

"Right, I know," Sam smiled, "my name is Sam and this is my brother," he pointed, "Dean." Castiel stared at them blankly. "I'm sure that doesn't mean much to you right now, but we're your friends."

"Okay, if you say so." Castiel seemed so weak. He was thinner than Dean had ever seen him and he could barely lift his head up to talk to them.

"You should rest." Dean grabbed Sam's arm. "Come on, Sam."

"Yeah," Sam waved again, "get your strength up." Dean pulled Sam down the hall. "Dean, wait." Sam stopped them close to the elevators. "What, are you leaving? He woke up. Isn't that what you've been waiting for?"

"He doesn't know me, Sam. If I just hang out in his room all day and night, he'll probably hate me by tomorrow. Besides, I need to help dad finish the car." Dean pushed the down button for the elevator.

"No you don't." Sam knew dad was basically done with the car and could finish fine without his help. "What are you scared of?"

Dean scuffed as the doors to the elevator opened. "Nothing." He entered, expecting Sam to follow. He turned to find Sam watching from outside the doors. "Sam, let's go."

"No."

Dean blocked the doors from closing. "What? Come on, let the doctors poke and study him so they can let him go."

"No," Sam crossed his arms, "I'm gonna stay and talk to him. He should know something about himself."

Dean stared Sam down but caved and pulled his arm back. "Fine. I'll tell everyone. But, please just don't tell him about the wedding thing, okay?"

Sam didn't understand why but he agreed. "Fine." The doors shut and Dean was gone. Sam returned to Castiel's room. "Hey," Sam sat in the chair by the bed, "so, Dean left to tell everyone you're up. They'll be so happy to see you."

"Who's everyone?" Castiel turned his head to face him.

"My parents, my wife, and a few friends."

Castiel furrowed his brows. "What about my parents or wife," he heard the question in the word, "or siblings?"

"Uh," Sam had hoped to avoid this subject for a little, "well, you're not married, no siblings, and your parents died a long time ago." He continued quickly when he saw Castiel's face fall, "You were a teenager when there was an accident, and my parents took you in. Our parents were friends our whole lives and they named my parents your guardians so…" Castiel looked more confused. "We're your family, Cas. We always have been."

He nodded. "What happened? They told me a car accident, but what happened?"

"Yeah, you and Dean were hit by a truck."

"Dean?" Castiel looked up. "Dean was hurt too?"

"Yeah."

"He looked fine."

Sam hesitated. He thought the staff would've told him. "You've been out for three months, Cas."

"Three months?" Castiel's eyebrows raised in disbelief.

"They didn't tell you?"

"No, I thought maybe a week." He shook his head. "It must've been pretty bad."

"It was. Dean was even out for a couple days. The truck hit your side. You're lucky to be alive."

"Lucky." Sam could hear the sarcasm. "Lucky to wake up and not know anything about anything or anyone. To have no memories or…" Castiel looked out the window as his voice trailed off.

"I'm sorry, Cas. You can always get to know people again. Now you get to relearn what you like and get to experience things for the first time again. You have people that will help you and that care about you." Castiel nodded absently. "Well," Sam stood, "I'll let you rest before everyone gets here, because they will talk your ears off." He patted Castiel's arm before leaving his room.

His parents, Jessica, and Bobby showed up a little later and talked to Castiel for a couple hours. They told him about Dean staying with him the whole time and how they were all there to help him when he needed it. Everyone avoided the subject of who Dean really was to Castiel, as Dean requested. Castiel seemed overwhelmed at first but soon warmed up to the family that obviously cared a lot about him.

Dean had stayed to work on the car, although Sam knew it was more than done. He called Dean as everyone said their goodbyes. "Why are you avoiding him?"

"I'm not. I'm working on the car. You're all there to watch him. He's fine." Dean cursed as he pinched a finger with one of his tools. "I'll see him at some point."

"When?"

"When I can. Get off my ass!"

Sam sighed. "Dean, you have plenty of time."

"I know. Look, I'll talk to him tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay, I just wish you would…"

"Sam!" Dean yelled loudly to silence his brother. "Give me time. This is Cas. We've been together ten years and he doesn't remember a second of that and maybe never will. I don't want to lose him, but I feel like I already have."

"If you don't come build some kind of relationship back up, you will."

"Maybe he'd be better for it if I did."

"What?"

"Nothing," Dean groaned, "I'll be there tomorrow. I can imagine how many people will be in his face today and I don't want to be one of those irritating faces."

"Alright. Bye, Dean."

"Bye."

That night, Dean did a little cleaning. He walked around his house and took down every picture of him and Castiel together. He collected all of them and put them in a box. Castiel didn't need to be reminded of what they used to be around every turn.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Dean made his way to Castiel's room with a bag in hand. Castiel was asleep when he entered. He knocked on the door and announced himself. Castiel stirred, rubbing his eyes.

"Hey, how you feeling today?" Dean set the bag on the table beside the bed.

Castiel could smell something that made his stomach rumble loudly. "What is that?"

Dean smiled. "Your lunch." He sat in the chair next to the bed. "They said it was okay to bring you some real food. I can't imagine anything here is good."

"No," Castiel sat up slowly, arms shaking with the effort. "It smells so good."

"It should," Dean resisted the urge to hold Castiel up, "it's your favorite." Castiel tilted his head at Dean and picked up the bag. "It's from Harvelle's, a little bar and restaurant in town. A friend of ours owns it and she made that special for you."

"Thank you." Castiel took out the wrapped burger and basket of fries. He picked up a couple fries and chewed them thoughtfully. They were delicious.

"They took your IV out, huh?" Dean pointed to the small bruise on his hand.

"Yes." Castiel took a few more fries. "I'm mostly just working on getting strong enough to walk and grip and then I should be able to leave."

"Right, lying in bed for three months will make that difficult." Dean sat quietly as Castiel finished eating.

"How is the car?"

"Good. Just like new."

"That's good." Castiel dropped his trash into the paper bag. "It seemed really important to you to get that fixed."

"I grew up in that car. It means a lot to me."

"I figured. Since you left as soon as I woke up and rushed to your car." Castiel could feel Dean's look, but he kept his head facing down. "They told me that you sat in here with me every day, but then when I woke up, you wouldn't come back. I assumed it was for something important."

Dean felt hurt by the comment. Castiel was the most important person in his life. He was his best friend and he had fully planned to spend the rest of their lives together. But now Castiel thought he placed a car over him. He loved the Impala, but nothing compared to Castiel.

"Cas," Dean looked at his hands, unable to look Castiel in the eye, "we've been friends since grade school. Fifteen years ago, you lost your parents and were a permanent resident at our house. I know you better than anyone and yesterday you woke up and had no idea who I was. You can surely understand how that could've been hard for me."

Castiel nodded, picking absently at his cover. "I can imagine. It's probably just as hard as waking up and not knowing who you are or where and having all these people looking at you like you should remember something or worse with pity. Unlike you, I can't run from that. If I really mean as much to you as you say, why would you leave when I could use your help?"

"I didn't want to be one of those people making you feel like you should know something you can't. Do you want me here?"

Castiel shrugged. "You can do whatever you want, Dean. I don't know if I'll remember you or anything at all, but…" Castiel messed with his cover again.

"What?"

"I don't really want to be alone either. Everyone visits but just for a few minutes before going back to work. I assume you work too, but just sitting here will drive me crazy."

"I don't have to work actually. After two months of not coming to work when I was able to, was enough for them to let me go."

"You got fired?" Dean nodded. "I got you fired?"

"Well, not directly." Castiel frowned. "Don't worry. I hated that job anyway. I was just some office drone and I was losing my mind. I'll find a better one." Castiel still looked upset. "Who brought you that?" Dean tugged at the black cover that wasn't from the hospital.

"Your mom. She thought it would help me somehow."

The cover was Castiel's. It was always usually on their couch or bed. "Huh, she must've taken it from the house when I wasn't there."

Castiel nodded then furrowed his brows. "She said it was from my house. Why would you be in my house?" He looked at Dean. Dean looked like he was trying to decide if he wanted to lie or not. "Do we live together?"

Dean figured he would find out when he left anyway. "Yeah."

"Aren't we a little old to have a roommate?" Castiel smiled.

Dean shrugged. "Maybe."

Castiel felt bothered for some reason by Dean's reaction. "How long have we lived together?"

"Eight years."

"Wow. That's a long time."

"Yeah." Dean looked at his hands again. He wanted to tell Castiel why they lived together, how much he cared about him, and how close they had always been, but he didn't know if that was the best thing for him right now.

"Dean…" Castiel could see something bugging Dean but before he could ask, Carmen entered to check on him.

"How are you feeling, Castiel?" She smiled warmly at both of them.

"I'm good. No pain really, just weakness in my hands."

Carmen nodded and made a note. "That's normal. We're trying to get you strong again. Today, we were planning on walking you up and down the hall a ways if you feel up to it."

Castiel nodded. "I think I can do that."

"Dean," Carmen turned to him, "if you want to walk with Castiel, you can."

"Sure." He looked at Castiel. "If that's okay with you."

"Of course." Castiel pushed his cover off and swung his legs around the side of the bed. Carmen slid the small table away and Dean stood. Castiel tried to push himself up a couple times before sagging down and sighing.

"I can get the walker to help you stand if you want." Carmen held a hand behind Castiel to support him.

"No." Castiel insisted firmly. "I can do it." He took a deep breath and pushed up. His arms shook but he managed to stand, although a little wobbly.

Dean and Carmen both had a hand ready if he were to suddenly fall, but he steadied himself and started shuffling away from the bed. Dean followed him across the room and opened the door.

"You two go ahead and let me know how he does."

Dean turned to look at Carmen. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, go," she waved a hand, "he's in good hands."

Dean smiled to her and walked out with Castiel. The moved down the hall slowly. Castiel had a look of concentration with each step. Dean could see his legs shaking slightly. He wanted nothing more than to hold his arm to make sure he didn't fall. "This doesn't hurt does it?"

"No." Castiel's voice was a little more breathy than usual. "It just feels strange. My muscles give away easily so it's hard."

"That would be hard." They walked to the end of the hall and turned back the other way. When they were about halfway back, Castiel's knees bent suddenly and he reached out to grab Dean. Dean caught him and wrapped both arms around him. "You okay?" Dean pulled Castiel's arm around his shoulder and helped him steady his footing.

"Yeah, I don't know what happened." Castiel seemed annoyed at his knees betraying him that way. He kept his arm around Dean and let him support part of his weight the rest of the way to his room.

"What happened?" Carmen looked concerned as they entered the room arm in arm.

"His legs just gave out a little on the way back. He's okay." Dean didn't let him go until he was sitting on the bed again.

"Okay," Carmen patted Castiel's shoulder, "that's still a lot more walking than you've done yet so that's good. We'll go around again later." With a wave, she left them alone.

"Don't worry, Cas." Dean sat beside the bed again. "You'll be back to normal in no time."

"I hope so."

With a couple more days of physical therapy and good food, Castiel was able to walk confidently alone and was putting on weight. He was being discharged and Dean was waiting outside with the Impala.

Castiel smiled at Dean leaning against the car. "So, this is your car?"

"How do you know it's not yours?" Dean smiled.

"Because, it looks like something you would drive." Castiel looked at the car closely as he walked around it. "I know you better than myself now, and this seems like you, and it looks brand new."

Dean laughed. "Well, it practically is. We had to rebuild almost everything, but she's worth it."

Castiel nodded and got in the car. He started looking through his bag of belongings as Dean drove them home. He opened his wallet and looked at his driver's license. "My birthday is December 14, 1978."

Dean looked over briefly. "Yep, a little over a month before mine."

"Hmm," Castiel pulled a credit card and debit card out of the wallet before pulling out a worn picture. It was a little faded and yellow with age but it was a picture of two boys, arms around each other's shoulders and smiling wide for the camera. He recognized the fairer haired boy as Dean and the other one had to be him. They looked maybe twelve. "When was this taken?" He held the picture out for Dean to see.

"Oh God," Dean laughed, "that was a long time ago. We were thirteen, I think, and my mom made us take a picture. It was the last day of summer break and we were helping my dad finish our tree house." Dean smiled at the memory. They spent a lot of time in that tree house, especially after Castiel lived with them.

"It's a nice picture." Castiel slipped it back in the wallet and kept flipping through the rest of the contents. There were a couple ones and a twenty dollar bill and one more picture. This one wasn't as old, but they both still looked visibly younger than now. This one had obviously been taken by Dean given his arm's position. They were in a dark room, laughing into the camera and leaning close together. It seemed like an intimate picture for two guys.

"Did you find another one?" Dean kept his eyes on the road.

"Yeah." He flipped the picture over and saw a scribbled sentence. "Dean's 21st and our one year."

Dean looked over but jumped when he remembered he was driving and looked forward again. He didn't know Castiel kept pictures with him at all.

"What does that mean, one year?" Castiel looked at Dean in confusion.

Dean cleared his throat. "I took that on my birthday. You took me to a bar for my first legal drink." He hoped Castiel wouldn't ask any more.

"I assumed that much, but what about the other part? Our one year of what?" Castiel watched Dean expectantly. Dean seemed to not want to answer. Castiel put the picture in the wallet and set it on his lap. Over the past few days, Castiel was beginning to piece together what Dean told him and what he avoided and he knew he was hiding something.

"We should be there soon." Dean turned up the radio, hoping to end the conversation. Castiel leaned over and turned the music off. "Cas, I have this rule about the driver and music…"

"Dean," Castiel cut him off, "are we a couple?" He saw no need to tiptoe around the question. He assumed as much by Dean's and his family's behavior.

"What?" Dean laughed uncomfortably. "Did someone tell you that?"

"No, but I'm not an idiot." He set an unfaltering gaze at Dean, willing him to answer.

Dean swallowed. "Yes."

Castiel closed his eyes and dropped his head back against his seat. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because, you don't know me anymore. For all I knew, you won't want to be with me like that again and I didn't want you to feel obligated to pretend because of my feelings." Dean turned them into the driveway and turned the car off.

"How long have we been together?"

"Ten years." Castiel looked out his window and shook his head. "And I know that I can't expect you to be the same person you were before and I would never pressure you about anything. I just…" he was rambling and he stopped himself before he made it worse.

"I'm sorry, Dean." He sounded like he was crying.

Dean put a hand on his shoulder. "Cas." He could see him wiping his eyes. "Don't apologize. You didn't do anything. No one can control things like this." He pulled his hand back and opened his door. "Let's go inside so you can settle in and relax." Castiel nodded.

"Surprise!" The room full of his family was definitely that. Dean wasn't sure what to feel as his parents, Sam, Jessica, Bobby, Ellen, and Jo greeted them with smiles and questions from every direction.

Introductions were made between Ellen and Jo and Castiel and they were ushered into the living room where they found plates of food courtesy of Ellen sitting out for them. Without much say from Dean or Castiel, they all ate and talked in the living room. Everyone was happy that Castiel was finally out of the hospital and were telling him stories and, in Dean's opinion, trying too hard. Dean loved his family, but at times they could be a bit much.

When Dean saw Castiel sneaking off to the kitchen, he knew he wasn't the only one getting overwhelmed. He gave Castiel a minute before following him into the room. Castiel was sitting on one of their stools at the counter and leaning on his hands. He slowly sat on the other stool and remained there quietly until Castiel spoke.

"Did you know about this?"

"No. I would've told them not to be anywhere near the house today, but they didn't ask me." Dean rubbed his forehead. He was tired from all the hospital business he had to go through today and could only imagine how much more Castiel was.

"I appreciate what they're trying to do, but I can't do this much longer, Dean."

"Do what?"

Castiel dropped his head, letting his hands circle the back of his neck. "Look at their faces when they look at me. It's like I said before, I see the hope in their eyes that I'll suddenly remember something about them or the pity when I don't. They put on happy faces, but I see their sadness for my situation and I can't take it." He rubbed his neck slowly and exhaled loudly. "But, I don't want to be rude either."

Dean nodded. "I feel the same way. I was really hoping to just chill out tonight and let you settle in." He stood up and knocked on the counter. "Don't worry. I'll handle it."

"What are you gonna do?" Dean just walked away.

Dean went back to the living room and got his family's attention. "Everyone, hey," he smiled when they all looked at him, "thank you for the surprise, but I think it's a good time to call it a night. Cas is tired and so am I and we just want to relax."

"You kicking us out, Dean?" Bobby asked with a mock offended face.

"No," he shook his head, "well, yeah I guess I kind of am."

"Did we upset him?" Mary put a hand over her heart, hoping she hadn't made anything worse.

"No, mom, he's just tired."

"Should we go talk to him?" Jessica was just as worried as Mary.

"No!" Dean covered his face with a hand. "Do you guys not understand? For the past three days, he's had people in his face and room constantly, asking him how he feels, what he remembers, poking him and making him walk in circles, and when he finally gets to come home everyone is here and doing it all again."

"Dean, we're doing this for you guys." Sam took a step closer to Dean. "We just wanted Cas to know that we all support him and want to help him."

"I know and he knows that. Please, just do it less aggressively. I love all of you but this isn't what he needs right now."

"Did something happen? He hasn't talked to you at all since you got here." Mary stood and took Dean's hand.

"Mom," he shook his head, "he hasn't had a chance. I mean, he figured out about us, but it hadn't even set in before you all bombarded him."

"Oh, Dean, I'm sorry. Did you want to talk to him tonight about all that?"

"That's not it," Dean pulled his hand back and stepped back a couple steps, "I'm just…could you all please leave? I'm sorry." They all got quiet and looked behind Dean. He turned and saw Castiel standing in the doorway.

"They don't have to leave, Dean. I don't want to be rude." He held up his hands in surrender.

"Cas…"

"It's okay. I'm fine." The smile he turned to him didn't reach his eyes and only Dean could see how un-fine he really was in that moment.

"If that's what you want, Cas." Dean watched him carefully. He looked at Dean and nodded. "Okay, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" Sam caught the look between the two and saw Dean bolting.

"I thought I heard something making a funny noise on the drive home and I'm gonna talk the Impala out for another drive to make sure. I won't be long." He grabbed his keys and left before anyone could talk him out of it. If Castiel wanted to smile and pretend for his family, fine, but Dean wasn't going to do it anymore tonight.

Everyone stood in awkward silence as Dean pulled out of the driveway. Castiel shook his head. "He does that a lot doesn't he?"

"You have no idea." Sam took a drink of his beer and shook his head. His brother was an idiot.

He truly hadn't meant to be gone this long, but an hour after leaving, Dean pulled back into his spot. The house looked darker so everyone was probably gone. The door was unlocked and he walked in as Castiel came out of the guest room. He had changed into a pair of sweats and a gray t-shirt, bare feet padding across the wooden floor.

"Hi," he stopped on his way down the hall, "find the problem?" He asked already knowing there wasn't one.

"We're all good." He looked around the cleaned up living room. "When did they leave?"

"Not long after you." He walked over to him. "You could've stayed."

"I don't think you would've wanted that." He longed to move closer or for Castiel to. He always loved when Castiel wore such casual clothes and he just wanted to hold him close or curl up on the couch and watch TV.

"You don't know what I want." Castiel turned away and walked down the hall. "Oh," he stopped, "I assumed the dirty room was ours, but I can't find clothes that seem to fit or suit me."

"All your stuff is in the guest room. I moved it all a couple days ago. I thought it would be a lot easier for you in your own room."

Castiel nodded. "Oh, thanks." He stood, seemingly waiting for Dean to say something. When he didn't, he turned away again. "I'm just gonna take a shower and turn in then."

"Okay." He tossed his keys to the table and slipped off his jacket. Castiel had gone to his room for his pajamas and was on his way to the bathroom when Dean did finally move closer to him. "By the way," Castiel stopped, "I do know what you want." Castiel raised an eyebrow at him. "I know you wanted to leave as much as I did. I know that something is eating at you right now and that you want to ask me something, but I'll let you do that whenever you feel like it." He smiled. "Goodnight, Cas."

Castiel waited for Dean to open the bedroom door before speaking. "Is there something missing from the house?"

"Like what?" Dean looked at him.

Castiel shrugged. "I wouldn't remember." He looked around at the shelves in the living room. "It just seems like a few things aren't there, like pictures or something."

Dean shook his head. "I don't think anything is missing. Maybe mom swiped something when she left." He shrugged and retreated to his room before Castiel could ask anything else. He fell asleep as the sound of the shower stopped and he knew Castiel was going to bed.


	3. Chapter 3

When Castiel woke up, he could smell fresh coffee and bacon cooking. He really didn't want to get out of the most comfortable bed he'd gotten to sleep in, but his stomach growled loudly. With a heavy sigh, he sat up in bed and slowly made his way to the door.

Dean could hear Castiel shuffling into the kitchen. "Good morning." He was cooking eggs and bacon.

"Morning." He settled at the counter he had retreated to the night before. "That all smells really good."

"Thanks." Dean smiled and poured a cup of coffee for Castiel. He handed him the cup and a few packets of sugar and cream.  
Castiel stared at the cup for a minute. Dean had handed him three little cups of cream and a stack of sugars. "Do I use all these for my coffee?"

Dean shrugged. "Figure it out."

"Dean," Castiel rolled his eyes, "I'm tired and not in the mood to play around."

"I'm not telling you to remember," Dean looked at him, "I'm telling you to try different things. You might find a different way that you like better." He turned back to his food.

Castiel sipped the cup just black and choked on the bitter flavor. While Dean finished cooking and plated their food, Castiel added sugar and cream a little at a time. He found the right combination, Dean handed him a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon. "Two sugars and one cream."

Dean laughed. "Well, some things don't change." He sat beside Castiel with his black coffee.

"That's how I made it before?"

Dean nodded. "So, what do you want to do today? It's up to you."

Castiel shrugged and bit off some bacon. "I don't know."

"I've got the weekend before I start working with my dad at Bobby's shop, at least until I find a different job, so whatever you want."

"I really don't know, Dean. I'm okay with staying home today." Dean nodded but looked a little disappointed. "If you want to do something, we can. It really doesn't matter."

"I didn't have anything planned. Just wanted to ask if you did."

Castiel sighed. "Okay, I guess I'm staying in then." To avoid a mopey Dean, he continued, "So, where do I work?"

"At the history museum in the city." Dean couldn't believe he had forgotten to tell Castiel about his work. It had always meant so much to him. "Actually, you were the curator there for a couple years."

"What, really?" Castiel set his coffee down. "How did I manage that job at 30? Does that require a lot of schooling?"

"Yeah," Dean nodded, "you have a master's in history with a bachelor's in classical studies and a bunch of other historical classes. You've worked at the museum since high school. You always were a huge nerd." He laughed. "There were nights that we snuck into the museum after hours and you would drag me around the exhibits and tell me about them. I didn't have the heart to tell you how little I cared." He smiled and pushed his eggs around his plate. "Of course, watching you go on about something you loved was a good enough reason to encourage you to keep talking."

Castiel smiled. "It sounds like I had my dream job."

"You did." Dean could recall countless days when Castiel told him just that. He remembered the day he got the job, and Dean had never seen him so happy.

"I can't go back though," Dean looked up, "can I? I don't remember anything from school or about the job. All that work and time, for nothing." Castiel was annoyed at himself for ruining what seemed like a perfect life, even though he didn't have any control over what had happened.

"You still have a job there, if you want it." Dean had talked to them when Castiel woke up. "Obviously, not the same job, but you can do what you did when you started in high school. Knowledge can always be relearned. One nice thing about history is: it never changes."

"What if I don't have the same passion for it anymore?"

Dean shrugged. "Then you can quit and find something else that makes you happy. You should never do anything that doesn't make you happy. Just try it and if you hate it, it's okay to leave."

"We still talking about my job?" Dean had gotten strangely serious during that speech.

"I'm talking about everything." He put his fork down and turned to face Castiel. "Whether it's how you make your coffee, how you like your eggs," he pointed to his plate, "what job interests you, what clothes you wear, or who makes you happy."

Castiel nodded, searching Dean's eyes. "Is that what's bothering you, Dean?" He turned to face him. "Are you trying to get me out of the house and distract me so I don't sit around and decide that maybe I don't like you anymore?"

Dean shook his head, looking away from the stare. "I'm just trying to jog your memory, or to show you something that might be familiar." Castiel continued his stare. "What do you want me to say, that I miss you, the you I knew and grew up with? Should I tell you that I want you to remember everything about us and our lives? It would be easier, but who knows? I might like you more now than I did before."

"Maybe you shouldn't worry about it so much. Neither one of us can control what my brain does, so let's just calm down and see what happens."

Dean stood. "That's a lot easier for you to say and do." He took a couple steps away from Castiel. "You don't remember the years growing up together, the dances, summer nights in our tree house, your parent's deaths, our first date, first kiss, our college parties, or all the fights and bad days. I do. I can't just not see them when I look at you. You are everything to me. You're my best friend, my family, and you always have been. Yet, if you told me that you never wanted to see me again, I would let you go, because I could never make you do anything that you didn't want to do, no matter what it did to me." Dean turned back to look at Castiel, surprised to find him with tears in his eyes. "So don't tell me to calm down."

Castiel blinked the tears away. He knew how much Dean cared about him and he didn't want to hurt him. He didn't know what he should do. "I wish I could give that guy back to you, Dean. Unfortunately, you're stuck with me." He stood to meet Dean. "So, let's go out to lunch later and anything else you want to do."

"You don't have to do that, Cas. You already said you wanted to stay in."

"And now I want to go out. I've been cooped up long enough. I should walk around and socialize a little."

Dean knew he was just trying to make him feel better, but he was tired of arguing. "Fine. We'll go to Harvelle's for lunch. Maybe I'll teach you how to drive again."

Castiel nodded. "Okay."

They went out around noon, Dean hesitantly letting Castiel drive. They took it slow and Castiel's muscles at least seemed to remember how to drive. After eating and a nice chat with Jo, they went to an afternoon movie. Normally, they would have hit a bar after that, but they didn't think that was a good idea for Castiel yet. It was around six when they got home and Castiel was already tired.

"I'm gonna take a nap." He yawned as he shuffled to his room.

"Okay." Dean took a beer from the fridge and turned on the TV. A few hours passed and Castiel had yet to reappear, making Dean nervous. He peaked into his room after knocking a couple times. "Cas, are you still sleeping?"

Castiel was sitting on his bed looking at his laptop screen. He looked up when Dean opened the door. "No, I was just reading through some of the articles and papers I've written. Just trying to get inside my own head I guess."

Dean walked to the bed and looked over Castiel's shoulder. "I don't know how well you'll do that with academic stuff."

He furrowed his brows. "It is just mostly confusing me."

"Here," Dean reached over and opened the internet browser, "try this." He opened the browsing history and opened a few different websites. "It at least shows you where you've been on the internet. Maybe you'll find something about yourself."

Castiel looked through the tabs. "It's just Facebook, YouTube, and a couple academic sites."

Dean shrugged. "It might give you something. Just try it out." He walked back through the doorway. "I'll let you look alone." He closed the door behind him.

Castiel checked out the academic sites first, and deeming them useless, closed them. He looked at YouTube next and found that less helpful. He just had a few videos in his favorites: a couple music videos and cat videos.

Sighing, he opened Facebook. He didn't make statuses very often and was mostly tagged in pictures with Sam and Dean. Sam had uploaded a bunch of pictures from when they were younger. Castiel smiled as he clicked through pictures of the brothers over the years. He would be in a few of them occasionally, usually with an arm around Dean. As they grew older, the pictures of just Dean and Castiel grew in number.

Dean looked up as Castiel came out of his room. "You find anything helpful?"

Castiel sat on the couch next to him. "Not too much. Apparently, I like cats."

Dean laughed. "Yeah, that's true. If I wasn't allergic, we would probably have one."

"And, Sam posts a lot of pictures on Facebook."

"He does." Dean laughed again. "He has slowed down a little after graduating though."

"It was nice to see how close we all really were. Not that I thought you guys were lying to me, but now I can see it more."

Dean smiled. "Good."

"And, I have decided that I will go back to work at the museum. It seemed really important to me and I loved it and I have to give that a chance, right?" Castiel looked at Dean.

He hoped that Castiel meant that as a statement that wasn't just about work. Given the look he gave him, Dean thought so. He shrugged. "If that's what you want to do."

"It is."

"Okay, I'll give you the number to call tomorrow. You'll be able to start whenever you want to." He started flipping through the channels when his show ended. "I'll be going back to the shop with my dad on Monday until I can find something else."

"What kind of job are you looking for? An office job like before or something you actually want to do?"

"Oh wow," Dean laughed, "it was that obvious?"

"You did tell me that you hated that job when I woke up."

"Yeah," Dean finally settled on a channel, "I did. I don't know what job I'd be looking for. I just need something with a steady paycheck and insurance. We need both of those right now."

Castiel couldn't imagine how high their hospital bills were. "Sure, but shouldn't your job make you happy, or shouldn't you at least like it?"

"Ideally."

"What did you study?"

Dean sighed. "I didn't know what I wanted to do there either. I was an undecided and general studies major for a while. Then I took an engineering course and really liked it. It felt like something I could see myself doing."

"Is that what you majored in then?"

"No, by the time I figured it out it would have taken a lot longer and I never was very good at the whole school thing with homework and tests."

"What, you just gave up?"

"I knew my limits, with money and school. I'll find a job soon enough. I'll be fine."

"Right." Castiel could see Dean withdrawing from the conversation. He had seen him do it before with Sam. He didn't want to talk about it and Castiel wouldn't push. Dean stood and moved toward the bathroom. "Hey, for the record," Dean stopped and looked at him, "I do like you. Obviously not to the level I did before, not yet, but I do. I'm not going anywhere."

Dean nodded and smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

About a week after calling the museum and setting up a job, Castiel felt up to working the long days. Dean was fixing cars and applying to businesses around the city. It didn't take long for them to get into a comfortable rhythm around the house.

Castiel had yet to remember anything and after three weeks he accepted that he probably never would and he was strangely okay with that. It was about that time that Dean suggested he call his old professors and see if there was a way for him to maybe get some refresher courses in his major. It took another week of meeting with some of them and the college's president to arrange something for him.

That Friday night when Dean came home from work, he was met with a hug at the door from a smiling Castiel. "They're gonna let me do it, Dean!" Dean huffed in surprise as Castiel wrapped his arms around his neck. "They'll let me sit in on classes at the university!" He pulled back and smiled at Dean. "I won't have to pay anything and I can do it as long as I want."

"That's awesome, Cas." He kept his hands on Castiel's hips loosely. "I'm happy for you."

"I can't believe they let me. I must've been more important than I thought."

Dean stepped through the doorway, pushing Castiel back a couple steps, to close the door behind him. "You were kind of a big deal." He smiled wider at Castiel's sparkling eyes. It was like looking at his Castiel again when he got the curator job. He cupped Castiel's cheek without thinking.

Castiel looked at Dean's hand before looking back at Dean. His hands were now at Dean's biceps and he squeezed them gently. It seemed like Dean wanted to do something, but he stopped himself and just dropped his hands and stepped away from Castiel.

"Maybe you'll get your old job back." Dean dropped his keys on the counter. Yes, he had wanted to kiss Castiel and almost had, but he had forgotten himself for a moment. He had seen the old Castiel again for a minute.

"Maybe, eventually." Castiel turned to look at Dean.

"I've got a job interview tomorrow." Dean had been marginally happy about this one. It was at a factory in the city. It was more of a labor job, but the pay was good and Dean preferred working with his hands.

"Good." Castiel moved closer to Dean. "Is it something you'll like?"

Dean shrugged. "More than an office job, yeah." He saw Castiel moving closer to him and he walked in the opposite direction. "Hey, we should go out and celebrate."

Castiel stilled. "Celebrate?"

"Yeah, my interview and your free education. Plus, I think enough time has passed that you can really have a good time now."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, let's go out to a bar or something and really celebrate."

"You think that's a good idea the night before an interview?"

"I'll be the designated driver. I want you to have fun."

Castiel leaned against the counter and smiled. "Dean, are you trying to get me drunk?"

Dean raised his eyebrows. "Is that what it'll take?"

Castiel laughed. "Depends on how you play your cards." He raised one brow at Dean and smiled wider.

They had been flirting a lot more the last couple weeks and Dean hadn't realized how much he had missed it until now. It was like when he and Castiel first started dating, a playful word or shove that hinted at more but not going there, not yet.

"So," Castiel turned to rest both elbows on the counter, "where are you taking me tonight, Harvelle's?"

"No, I was thinking something more than just a dive bar. Something fancier."

"Oh, trying to dazzle me?"

Dean laughed. "No, I just wanted to try something new. I was gonna go with something like a nightclub."

"Really? Don't you think we're a little old for that?"

"Hey, we're only 30. That's not too old. It'll be fun."

"Okay, when should I be ready for this grand night out?"

"We can eat somewhere else first. About seven o' clock work?"

"Sounds good." Castiel stood. "Let me just go make myself pretty for the club." He pretended to flip his hair and walked off to his room. Dean shook his head and laughed.

They had had dinner at Harvelle's, at Castiel's request, before heading to one of the clubs in town. After a few hours, and many drinks, Castiel was sitting across from Dean talking very animatedly about what he loved about the museum.

Dean watched in amusement for a while before putting a hand out to him. "Cas, you're shouting." It was loud with the music and people talking, but he was unaware of his volume from all the alcohol.

"Sorry." He chuckled. "I just get so excited. It's really fun, Dean. I didn't think I would think that honestly, but Anna has been great and it's really interesting."

Anna was Castiel's boss and had worked with him for years. She also happened to be a friend of theirs from college. "I'm really glad it's working for you, Cas." He glanced back at the bar. "I'm gonna get you another drink. Wait here." Castiel nodded and Dean got up and weaved his way through the crowd to the bar.

He had ordered their drinks when another friend of theirs greeted him at the bar. "Dean Winchester." Dean turned and saw Pamela Barnes smiling up at him. "Well, it's been a long time. How've you been?" She patted his arm with a laugh.

"Pamela, hi," Dean leaned down and hugged her, "I've been good. How are you?"

She pulled back. "I can't complain." She looked around the bar. "So, where's Castiel? You two were practically joined at the hip last time I saw you."

"He's over there." He pointed over to the booth by the wall.

"Wow, he's had a lot already hasn't he?" She shook her head as Castiel smiled and waved at them from across the club.

"Yeah," he picked up Castiel's drink, "and I'm only adding to it."

"Hmm," she looked him over quickly, "you got big plans tonight, Dean?"

"Just having some fun."

She nodded with a knowing look. Pamela had always said that she had some psychic abilities but Dean had never really bought it before. "Did you two get married yet? That law past a few months ago, right? I thought you two would jump on that."

"We planned on it but," he looked down at the drink, wishing he could have one himself as the memories of the crash came flooding back.

"Oh, Dean," she touched his arm gently, her face falling in sympathy, "I'm so sorry."

Dean didn't have time to ask what she meant when Castiel came busting through the crowd and latched onto Dean's other arm.

"Dean, I don't wanna sit over there anymore." He was shouting again.

The music picked up and the bass got louder. "Cas, you don't have to sit."

"Hi, Castiel." Pamela touched Castiel's shoulder. "It's good to see you again, sweetie."

Castiel looked at her and shouted to Dean in what was supposed to be a whisper. "Dean, I don't know this woman."

"This is our friend Pamela." He leaned in close so he didn't have to talk so loud.

"Oh, does she know what happened?" Castiel still didn't calm his voice.

Dean patted Castiel's back and looked at Pamela. "We'll catch up soon, okay?"

Pamela nodded. "Alright, goodnight guys." She winked at Dean and walked off to a couple of her friends.

Castiel walked around to stand in front of Dean, grabbing his wrists. "I wanna dance."

Dean laughed. "Knock yourself out, Cas." He nodded to the dance floor of various couples and singles mingling.

"No," he whined, pulling Dean's arms, "dance with _you_, Dean."

"I'm not really a dancer, Cas." He handed the drink over to Castiel.

"Neither am I." Castiel took the drink in hand. "But, I want to dance with you."

"That's alright," he shook his head, "you go on without me."

Castiel released one of Dean's arms and downed his drink in one go before looking back at him. Dean raised his brows. "Come on." Castiel coughed a little and tugged on Dean's arms.

"Cas," Dean tried to keep from moving but Castiel was giving him an insistent look. He knew he would cave eventually, so he just sighed and gave up.

He was dragged to the dance floor by a bouncing Castiel. Castiel wasn't so much as dancing as jumping and moving his shoulders. If anyone other than Dean was sober, he would look ridiculous. Dean just laughed.

"What?" Castiel started bobbing.

Dean laughed harder and grabbed his shoulders, trying to calm the kid-like dancing. He leaned close so Castiel could hear him, "You're cute."

Castiel smiled and reached up to tap his nose. "_You're _cute." He laughed and grabbed Dean's hands to pull him into moving with him.

Dean just surrendered and soon they were spinning and moving across the dance floor. Both were laughing and slowly forgetting about everyone else in the club. Eventually, Dean pulled Castiel closer and they were moving a little slower, hands settling around each other. They were swaying to the music and Castiel was leaning against Dean, lacing his fingers behind his neck.

He moved his hands up and down Castiel's back slowly as they turned. Dean couldn't remember the last time they did something like this. Once Castiel was made curator, he didn't have a lot of free time and when he did, they didn't do something like this. They usually stayed in together. They still had a good time, but this was different.

Dean hugged Castiel closer, feeling his breath on his neck and had to close his eyes to not break what he was feeling. Castiel's hands loosened and ran down his chest slowly and around his back. He dropped his forehead to Castiel's shoulder, nuzzling his neck briefly and wanted nothing more than to kiss the warm skin. Instead, he brought his head up and continued to move them to the music, which he realized was a lot faster than they were moving.

When the announcement of last call was made, Dean pulled away from Castiel. "We should go."

Castiel scrunched his face in disapproval. "Why?"

"I wanna beat these drunks home." He grabbed Castiel's hand and walked him back to the car.

Castiel turned up the radio and sang along loudly as Dean drove them home. Dean tried not to laugh the whole drive. He walked Castiel to their door, having to concentrate hard to unlock the door as Castiel held his arm and leaned against him with his full weight. He opened the door and ushered Castiel inside.

"That was fun, Dean." Castiel kept hold of his arm and smiled.

"It was." Dean steadied him with his free hand, seeing Castiel leaning to the right slightly. "I think you need to go sleep this off though."

Castiel shook his head. "I'm fine." He stepped closer to Dean, moving his hands up Dean's arm. "Can I ask you something?"

Dean fisted his hands as Castiel got closer, fighting the urge to wrap him close like they had been in the club. "Of course."

He smiled again, leaning close to Dean. "Kiss me?"

Dean closed his eyes and bowed his head. He wanted to, more than anything, but… "Cas, I can't."

"Why not?" He let go of Dean's arm, grabbing his shirt instead, and moved even closer.

"You're really drunk."

"So?" He pulled on Dean's shirt a little.

"I'm not."

"So?"

"So, I can't." He couldn't look him in the eye. "Why don't you wait until morning and see if you still want to ask me that."

"Dean," he whined and brushed his hands up to Dean's shoulders, "please?"

"Cas," he forgot how clingy Castiel got when he was drunk, "you're not thinking straight."

"Why, because I finally have the courage to ask for something I wanted to do after a week?" Castiel pulled Dean's head down to talk into his ear. "I know you want to, Dean. I felt you almost kiss my neck earlier." Dean shivered and gripped Castiel's hips. "I wish you had."

"Cas…"

"What if I kissed you and you just let me?" Castiel nuzzled Dean's ear, making him lean in involuntarily.

He really tried to fight it, not wanting to take advantage of Castiel's inebriated state, but he was only human. Dean crushed his lips into Castiel's and pressed them together tightly. Castiel moaned into the kiss and tightened his hold, kissing back with all he had.

After four months of practically no contact, Dean took all he could. He had missed this so much. Castiel was warm under his touch and his kissing ability didn't seem to be forgotten. He lifted the other man just enough to flip them and press Castiel into the door. Castiel gasped before kissing Dean all the harder.

"Dean." Castiel pulled back, resting his head on the door for a moment. His heart was racing and his body screamed for more. He rolled his hips forward slightly, lifting a leg a little.

Dean braced himself against the door as Castiel pushed against him. He grabbed Castiel's raised leg and forcefully wrapped it around his hip. Castiel moaned as the new angle provided a much better feeling as Dean thrusted back against him. Dean kissed him again, forgetting his earlier hesitance.

Castiel held Dean tightly, arching his back to press into him more. He sighed as Dean moved to kiss his jaw and neck. "Dean." Castiel laced his fingers through his hair, encouraging him to continue. A strange feeling made him pause. "Dean." The feeling got stronger. "Dean." He pushed against Dean's chest. Something was wrong. "Dean!"

"What?" Dean stepped back, dropping Castiel's leg.

He knew this feeling now. "Please don't take this as a comment on what just happened." He pushed Dean aside and ran to the bathroom.

Dean was confused until he heard the sound of Castiel throwing up. He shook his head and took a deep breath. He got a glass of water and walked to the closed door. "Cas, you okay?" He knocked.

"Don't come in here." His voice was miserable.

"Why not?"

"I don't want you to see me like this." He choked on the last word as he vomited again.

"You think I've never seen you folded over the toilet puking your guts out?" Sure, it wasn't often, but Dean had had to nurse a sick and drunk Castiel a few times.

Castiel groaned and he heard the toilet flush. "Fine."

Dean opened the door, holding out the water. Castiel took it and swished it around before spitting it back in the toilet. "Feel better?"

Castiel shook his head. "No, not at all." He set the glass on the floor and moved to stand.

"I wouldn't." Dean put a hand up. "I don't think you're done yet."

"What?" Castiel's whole body sagged. He didn't want to throw up any more.

"Just wait a little."

Castiel felt the familiar pulling in his throat before he threw up again. "I take it I don't drink this much often?"

"No, it's usually me that does and you drive us home. How could I deprive you of this experience?" Castiel glared at him. They waited for a few minutes before Dean helped Castiel stand, brush his teeth, and led him to his room. "Sleep is what you need now."

Castiel just groaned in irritation of having to do so much work to get to bed. Dean pulled his jacket off for him and proceeded to pull his shirt off when Castiel stood still too long. He moved to stand in front of him and unbuttoned his jeans. He knelt as he slipped his jeans down his legs. Dean took off his shoes and socks before helping him remove his pants.

"Dean," Castiel was watching him intently, "I'm sorry I ruined our moment earlier." He reached forward and grabbed his hair gently.

He swallowed at the feeling and resisted the urge to run his hands up Castiel's legs and now fully recovered body. "You didn't. It's okay." Dean found his pajama pants on the floor near the bed and helped him slip them on and stood to pull them up fully. He cupped Castiel's face like he had earlier that night and kissed him chastely before stepping away to let him get in bed. He was about to leave when Castiel grabbed his hand.

"Dean, stay with me."

"Okay." He pulled Castiel's hand off gently. "I just need to change."

"But you'll come back?"

"Yeah, I'll just be a minute." Castiel nodded and Dean went to his room to change into his pajamas. His interview was six hours from now, but he didn't need that much sleep. He expected to find Castiel asleep when he reentered his room but Castiel turned to look at him when he joined him.

Castiel held the cover up and Dean slid under it. Castiel snuggled close to Dean, smiling happily. Dean wrapped his arms around him. "Thank you for taking me out, Dean."

"You're welcome." He rubbed the back of Castiel's head slowly. "Just sleep, Cas. You'll feel a little better tomorrow."

It was just minutes before Castiel was asleep, wrapped around Dean tightly. Dean followed soon after, glad to sleep alongside Castiel once again.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean got back from his interview to find Castiel sitting on the counter with a cup of coffee. His hair was a disheveled mess and he looked half-asleep. Dean smiled. "Hey, how does that hangover feel?"

Castiel blinked slowly. "Like I got hit in the face with a bat." His voice was scratchy from sleep.

"Sounds about right." He walked into the small kitchen. "You know, that happened to you once, hit with a bat." Castiel gave him a confused look. "You were on the baseball team, we both were."

"Oh," Castiel thought about that scenario, "really?" Dean nodded. "Was I the catcher?" He didn't know how else that could happen very easily.

"Yeah." Dean poured himself a cup of coffee. "So, I was thinking, we could go on a little trip this afternoon, if you're up to it?"

"Trip?"

Dean could hear the hesitance in his voice. "If you'd rather stay in and rest, we can."

"What kind of trip?"

"I was thinking about going to my parents' house and showing you our tree house."

"Oh," Castiel looked at his coffee. He felt like crap but he also really wanted to go.

"We can wait until you feel better. It's not a big deal."

"No, I'm fine." He smiled at Dean. "We can go."

"Really? I don't want to make you miserable."

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Okay." Dean took a drink of his coffee. "So, what do you remember from last night?"

"Ugh," Castiel closed his eyes, "I remember the bar, dancing with you, and throwing up a lot." He looked as Dean seemed to almost look relieved. "And I seem to recall us sharing a pretty hot and heavy kiss before I threw up and ruined it."

Dean nodded. "You still glad that happened?"

"Yes." Dean had sounded worried. "I want to kiss you right now." He smiled as Dean blushed slightly and bowed his head. "Were you hoping I would forget?" Dean looked back up at him. "Do you want me to forget?"

Dean shook his head. "Never."

"Good."

That afternoon, they pulled into their childhood home. Mary greeted them at the door with a hug. She led them to the kitchen where she was making a couple sandwiches for them. Dean tried to tell her not to worry about it, but she insisted they eat, ever the mother. Once they had eaten, they stood to walk to the backyard.

"Dean," Mary put a hand on his arm as Castiel left the kitchen, "how is everything between you two?"

"We're good, mom." He smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry."

She smiled and held his hand briefly. "Good. You know I just want you to be happy."

"I know." He leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Thanks, mom."

Dean found Castiel outside standing under the tree house. He stood next to him and motioned forward to the small wooden pieces in the tree meant for climbing. "You first."

Castiel climbed up with only a couple small slips. The small house was really just one big room with a window and a box in one corner. A couple old movie and band posters were taped on the walls. Castiel couldn't stand in the short room without having to bend over, so he slid to the side and sat while Dean climbed up.

Dean made his way up the ladder easily and sat beside Castiel. He let the other man look around the room before telling him anything. Dean hadn't been up here in years. He couldn't believe all the posters were still up. They had helped his dad build it over the summer as teens. He remembered that summer fondly.

"So, this is where we spent all our free time in high school?" Castiel ran a hand along the floorboards, wondering which of them had nailed this one in place.

"Yeah," Dean laughed, "we didn't have a lot of spare money then. Eventually, we ran an extension cord out here and hooked up a little TV to watch movies and play games." Dean smiled as he thought of all the nights they had ended up falling asleep there and woken up to an angry Mary telling them to clean up for school and to stop making her think they had been kidnapped.

"It's surprisingly quiet for being outside." Castiel moved to lay back and look out the window.

"It is." Dean listened and didn't hear anything except the wind. He looked at Castiel relaxing next to him and debated whether or not to tell him about why they had started spending so much in the tree house. It hadn't been just because they helped build it and were proud.

"We've had our own place for a long time, huh?" Castiel smiled up at him.

"Yeah, I guess we have." Dean looked away from Castiel, shifting to sit closer but facing the other direction. "You know, when your parents died, we couldn't get you out of here." He heard Castiel shift behind him. "You sat up here all day and night for days. You wouldn't talk to anyone, barely ate, and you wouldn't move." Castiel sat up. "I would bring you food and talk endlessly about whatever crossed my mind, hoping one day you would respond." He looked at his hands, feeling the sadness again of watching his best friend being so completely devastated by his parents' deaths.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Dean." Castiel put a hand on his shoulder. "That must've been awful, and now you had to almost do the same thing again in the hospital." He pulled his hand back. He had seemed to cause so much pain to Dean. How much more could he go through before Castiel was too much trouble?

"It was," he turned to face Castiel, "but that doesn't mean I won't do it every time." He took Castiel's hands. "You're my family, always have been, and I will never just give up on you, especially when you need me the most."

Castiel's heart swelled and he smiled. "You're amazing."

Dean laughed. "Yeah, that's me." He let go of Castiel's hands. "I'm actually glad you don't have to remember what that was like. I would never wish that pain on anyone."

Castiel nodded. "Tell me about something better, then. Tell me about our first kiss."

Dean shook his head. "No."

"Why not?"

"I would rather you remember our new first kiss. It's better anyway."

"Come on." Castiel pouted. "Please?"

"No, Cas," he looked out the window behind Castiel, "it's complicated."

"Why, were we drunk then too?"

"No." Dean sighed. "We were in high school and it was sudden and…complicated."

"How? Explain it to me."

"Cas, you've been my best friend since grade school. You've been a part of my family since before your parents died and I was always close to you. It wasn't until later in high school that I started to want more and that thought scared me. It wasn't about maybe not being completely straight, but more of what would happen to our relationship if the feeling wasn't mutual." He kept his eyes down as he continued.

"We were both dating other people at the time. You were helping me with my math homework and I couldn't stop myself. I kissed you and you freaked out."

"I did?" Dean nodded. "Why?"

"Because, like I said, we were seeing other people at the time. I felt bad when I thought about it later and then everything was awkward for a while. Then, you kissed me and everything was crazy again. We just never got the timing right back then."

"Oh, I see." Castiel had thought their relationship had been some kind of fairytale. They grew up together, slowly falling in love and then had that clarifying kiss that cemented their life together. Reality, of course, was never like that. "So, we didn't figure it out until college?"

"A couple years into college, yes. We were always figuring it out." Dean laid back and looked up at the ceiling.

Castiel laid down next to him. "We're still figuring it out." Dean laughed. Castiel moved to lean over Dean, placing a hand on the floor beside his head, before kissing him. He pressed down harder when Dean grabbed his elbows gently. They kissed comfortably for a few minutes, relaxing in the silence.

Dean broke the kiss when Castiel's hand slipped under his shirt and slid up his chest. "Cas." He smiled. "We should probably head back inside."

"Why?" He dug his fingernails into Dean's skin.

Dean gasped and grabbed Castiel's hand. "Cas," he raised a brow at the smile he got, "please."

Castiel decided to have pity on Dean and removed his hand. But instead of getting up, he kissed Dean, cupping his face. He moved his fingers over Dean's face slowly, tracing his nose and lips. Dean's breathing started to stutter. "You know, I've had dreams about you," he pulled at his bottom lip gently, "and your lips."

"Really?" His throat was suddenly dry and his body was much warmer.

"Yes." Castiel leaned in close enough to brush their lips together without fully kissing. "You're so good with them in these dreams. I wonder how true it is." He smiled as Dean swallowed loudly. "I'd like to find out." He swiped his tongue out quickly, licking Dean's top lip.

"Fuck." Dean sighed and grabbed Castiel's head tightly, pulling him in for a rough kiss. Castiel moaned appreciatively and kissed back in kind. He pressed Castiel against him, both hands digging into the man's back.

"Dean." Castiel moaned into the kiss and moved to position himself on top of him. Dean licked at Castiel's lips until Castiel opened his mouth and let him swipe his tongue along Castiel's.

The tree house grew hotter as the men kissed and moved against each other with hushed curses and encouragements. Castiel's hands moved back under Dean's shirt and Dean really wanted this to continue but he knew he wouldn't be able to stop if he didn't now.

"Cas," Dean broke their kiss, "we really should go back." Castiel frowned and thrusted down against Dean. "Come on, cool it." He pushed Castiel's shoulders to try to move him off.

Castiel kissed him one more time before sitting up. They made their way out of the tree house and went inside to visit with Mary before heading home.

As they entered the house, Castiel pulled on the back of Dean's shirt, stopping him. He tugged on the shirt until Dean moved back and Castiel turned him to kiss him again. Dean kissed him briefly before pulling back.

"You need to rest, Cas. You can't feel too great."

His head was still pounding and he was tired, but Castiel didn't want to rest. "I'm fine, Dean."

"No," he ran a hand through Castiel's hair, "go take a nap or something."

"But I want to tell you about my dreams I've been having."

"Some other day."

Castiel's shoulders sagged in defeat. "Fine." He took a couple steps past Dean before mumbling. "I thought your mom was too mothering, but I was wrong."

"You need mothering or you'll be more miserable tomorrow." Dean crossed his arms and watched Castiel drag his feet to his room. Castiel never was a good 'patient'.

A couple days later, Dean got a call telling him he got the job at the factory. He started the next day. Castiel was sitting in on lectures at the university and their time together grew shorter every day.

After three weeks of only seeing each other a couple hours a day, Castiel skipped one of his classes so he could spend more time with Dean on his day off. Dean was on the couch watching TV when Castiel flopped down next to him, making Dean bounce slightly.

Dean checked his watch before looking back to the TV. "Shouldn't you be in class?"

"I'm playing hooky today." He leaned against Dean's shoulder, laying his head in the crook of his neck.

He laughed. "You're such a rebel."

"I know." Castiel smiled, nuzzling Dean's neck. Dean tilted his head to give him more room. He kissed Dean's neck, just a small peck, and nuzzled the side of his face.

Dean turned his head to look at Castiel. "Can I help you?"

Castiel laughed softly. "I hope so." He smiled and leaned in close to brush their lips together. He would pull back slightly when Dean leaned in to kiss him. Dean kept trying and grabbed the back of Castiel's head to pull him in, but Castiel laid back while holding Dean's shirt so they ended up flat on the couch, Dean on top of Castiel.

"Dean." Castiel smiled and shifted his legs under Dean so he was nestled between his legs comfortably. His hands were wrapped tight in Dean's shirt, keeping him close.

"So, are you gonna let me kiss you now or…?"

"Maybe." He tugged on Dean's shirt slightly.

Dean did kiss him with no resistance. Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's neck, pushing him down into him more. Their kisses were deep and slow, the kind Dean remembers sharing with Castiel before the accident on their rare days off together. It was the kind of thing that usually led to much more later on and it made Dean's body react accordingly.

Castiel pulled the collar of Dean's t-shirt to the side, moving to kiss the exposed skin, licking along his collarbone and kissing up the side of his neck. Dean moaned softly, slipping his hands under Castiel's back. He nipped at Dean's jaw and ear, rubbing his cheek against his short stubble. With one hand he cupped Dean's neck and the other moved to his lower back, pushing his hips down.

"Cas." Dean thrusted against Castiel, holding him close with both arms. The man was doing a good job at finding all of Dean's sensitive areas. "God, is this how you planned on spending the day?" He gasped when Castiel landed a hard bite on Dean's neck.

"Did you have a better idea?" Castiel moved back to his lips, kissing not so gently this time.

Dean moaned and kissed back with vigor, pushing Castiel's head back into the arm of the couch. He slipped his arms free from under Castiel, putting some weight on his knees, and lifted the bottom of Castiel's shirt up enough to drag his fingers over Castiel's stomach. He giggled slightly, being extremely ticklish, and pushed up against Dean in an effort to escape. Dean shushed him and flattened his palms, so as not to tickle, and ran them up his chest.

Castiel closed his eyes while leaning his head back into the cushion. He arched into Dean's touch, wanting more. Dean pushed his shirt up farther before leaning down to kiss a slow line up from his navel to breastbone. He bit his lip in an effort to silence the noises his throat was trying to make. His legs squeezed tight around Dean as he kissed back down, stopping just above Castiel's jeans.

Castiel lifted his hips slightly when Dean didn't continue his attention. Dean motioned for him to sit up. He removed Castiel's shirt, tossing it to the floor, and circled his arms around him again to pull him close. They kissed again, tangling together.

Eventually, Castiel had managed to seat himself fully on Dean's lap and pushed him into the back of the couch. He steadied himself with both hands on Dean's shoulders and moved his hips in quick thrusts.

"Jesus!" Dean's head dropped back, Castiel's moves sending warmth and electricity up his spine. He grabbed Castiel's waist to slow him a little and extended his neck up to kiss him. Without breaking the kiss, Dean lifted Castiel and flipped them. Castiel was sitting as Dean slid off the couch to kneel between Castiel's legs.

He made quick work of the jean's button and zipper. Before he did any more, Dean leaned forward and kissed Castiel's stomach again, resting his hands on the other man's thighs. Castiel slid his fingers through Dean's hair and sighed contently. He pushed up slightly to kiss up to Castiel's neck and gently pulled his jeans down to his knees.

Castiel's heart was racing and he was starting to shake as Dean pulled his jeans off over his socked feet. He swallowed down the sudden lump in his throat and pressed his fingers into Dean's scalp, dragging them slightly. Dean shivered and looked up.

"You okay, Cas?" He could see the slight fear in his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm good." He smiled reassuringly and ran a hand over Dean's cheek, tracing his lips slowly.

Dean opened his mouth, taking Castiel's index finger in and biting down on it gently. He swiped his tongue over it and closed his lips around it, making Castiel bite his lip again to silence a moan. He watched as Dean sucked slightly before taking Castiel's hand in his and moving his lips to kiss Castiel's leg. Just as he had done on Castiel's stomach, he kissed up Castiel's thigh to his hip. He pulled the hem of his boxers down a little to kiss the skin there nipping carefully at Castiel's hipbone.

"Dean, please." He was getting hard and with Dean so close to where he wanted him, Castiel was getting impatient.

"Relax, Cas." He smiled at the slight sigh he got. He continued his movements across the top of Castiel's boxers to his opposite hip and down his thigh. Castiel was practically vibrating with need as he made his way back up and got a sharp tug on his hair.

Dean palmed Castiel over his boxers, relishing the moan he got, and licked a short line on his stomach. He removed Castiel's boxers, tossing them to land close to his pants. His hands moved over Castiel's thighs as he kissed lower until moving to kiss Castiel's hard cock.

Castiel's grip on Dean's hair tightened as pleasure traveled through his body. Dean continued kissing and licking at Castiel until he was moaning loudly and thrusting slightly forward. "Dean." He whined and tried to control the urge to force Dean to move faster.

Finally, Dean took Castiel into his mouth, sucking as he moved. Castiel cursed loudly and arched his back, wishing this feeling could last forever. His toes curled and he couldn't stop the forward movement of his hips if he tried.

Dean could tell he was holding back a little. He lifted his head, making Castiel protest. "You know," he moved a hand to stroke Castiel slowly, "you can move if you want to." Castiel's jaw dropped as the sensation of Dean's hand and the thought of what he said coursed through him. "I can take it, Cas." He stilled his hand and reached up with the other to bend Castiel closer to talk lower. "Fuck my mouth." He kissed away the open shock on Castiel's face.

He then released Castiel's neck and took him down to the base of his dick and sucked hard. Castiel sat up quickly with a groan. Dean was setting every part of him on fire. He was so glad he skipped class today. He no longer tried to hold back his urge to thrust forward. When Dean hummed in approval, he held Dean's hair tighter and moved faster.

Dean held Castiel's hips loosely to anchor himself as his mouth was fucked thoroughly. Castiel was getting close and chasing the release he felt right in front of him. Dean rested one hand on Castiel's stomach and felt the muscles tightening underneath moments before he cried out and came down Dean's throat.

Castiel was breathing hard and shaking as Dean rubbed circles in his sides. He covered his eyes with a hand and tried to catch his breath. Dean chuckled and kissed him.

"You doin' okay?"

Castiel tried to say yes but just made a strange noise. Dean laughed again and continued to massage him. "Dean," he didn't know what to do now. He hadn't meant for that to happen so fast or at all today, but he definitely enjoyed it. "That was…" he laughed.

Dean pulled his hand away from his face. He was standing and smiling. "I know." With a tug of his hand, Dean had Castiel standing and pulled him in for a brief kiss.

"I can't help but notice how naked I am now." Castiel was beginning to get self-conscious as he stood so close to a fully clothed Dean.

"Yeah," Dean unabashedly looked him up and down with a smile, "come on." He moved toward the hall, still holding Castiel's hand.

"Where are we going?"

"A shower sounds like a good idea right now, don't you think?" Dean stopped and waited for Castiel.

"I suppose." He smiled and walked with Dean.

They took a long shower together, doing no more than kissing through it. It felt nice just to be close in the warmth and steam of the water. They then moved back to the couch, snuggled together to watch TV for the rest of the afternoon.

"Cas," he nudged him as he almost fell asleep on his shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for being such a rebel today. I've missed you the last couple weeks."

Castiel smiled. "You're welcome."

They fell asleep there, not caring that in the morning they would have to rush off to their separate responsibilities and probably wouldn't have a day like this again for a little while.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean was making breakfast as Castiel shuffled in from his room. They had both been working a lot the past few days. Castiel had been doing overtime most nights and today was the only day they both had off. Dean glanced back and greeted Castiel.

"Morning." Castiel poured himself a cup of coffee and sat at the counter behind Dean.

They were silent as Dean cooked, just enjoying the company and relative quiet. Castiel didn't speak until Dean started plating his breakfast.

"I want to ask you something. I need you to be honest." Castiel had been building up to this for a while and finally decided to do it.

"Shoot." Dean turned off the stove and sat across from Castiel.

"Did we ever talk about getting married or make plans?"

Dean almost dropped his fork from the unexpected question. This was a subject that had surprisingly never been brought up. "Why do you ask?"

Castiel stared at him. "Just answer the question."

"Are you mad about something?"

"Dean…"

"Fine." Dean set his silverware down and looked at him. "We were together ten years, what do you think?"

"So, why aren't we married? I was doing some research and gay marriage was legalized here about a month before our accident. What stopped us?"

Dean took a long breath. It was too early for this. "We talked about it. We couldn't agree on how so we didn't do it." It was true, mostly. "Besides, marriage is just a piece of paper that makes it legal to take half of someone else's stuff when they piss you off. Overrated if you ask me."

"What do you mean we couldn't agree on how?" Castiel chose to ignore Dean's last comment, knowing he was just trying to derail the conversation.

"I wanted to run down there and sign the papers, and you wanted to plan a whole party and hoopla."

Castiel tilted his head in confusion. "We didn't get married because I wanted to wait and plan?" Dean shrugged, looking back at his food. "That's stupid." Dean looked up in surprise. "If I had the chance to marry someone that had been my family for more than 10 years, I wouldn't wait for anything."

Dean smiled, shaking his head slightly. "I wish you had said that then." His smile faded when he thought about what could've been if that had happened. They would've never been in the accident and Castiel would be his old self. Not that Dean didn't like this Castiel too, but he was a little different.

"Did you try to convince me, even though I don't know why you would have to?"

"And say what? Should I have given you an ultimatum or fought with you every day until you gave in? I would never do that, Cas."

Castiel sighed, running a hand through his hair. "What about now? Let's get married now."

"What?" Dean's look of disbelief was almost comical as he was sure he hadn't heard right.

"Dean," he leaned over the counter, "I like you, a lot. We already live together and we've been together forever." He shrugged.

"You barely know me." Dean had to keep from smiling, reminding himself that this was a man that had only really known him for a few months, compared to decades.

"I know how much you love me, Dean. I've always been able to see it."

Dean looked down at his plate. "But you don't, not yet." He shook his head. "We can't."

"Where are the pictures?"

"The what?" Dean was genuinely confused.

"The pictures that are missing from that shelf," he pointed to a shelf beside the door, "and that one," he pointed across the room, "and the one in our old room?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I may not remember, but I know they're missing. I could see the emptiness like there was a spotlight on it, and there are spots of dust missing in each spot. I'm not an idiot, I just don't remember." Castiel stared challengingly, daring Dean to lie again.

Dean sighed, knowing he lost this one. "I took them down the day you woke up."

"Why?"

"You didn't remember me, or us. I didn't plan on telling you about us for a while and I figured it would be better to not bombard you with photos of us together the minute you came back."

Castiel shook his head. "God forbid I see some proof of how happy we were and how much I loved you! That would just be awful." He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. "You're an idiot."

"I was just trying to help you." Dean pushed away from the counter and stood.

"Where are they? I want to see them."

"No."

"Why not? They won't traumatize me now." He stood up to meet Dean's gaze. "I've probably seen them on Facebook anyway. What's the big deal?"

It really wasn't a big deal, but Dean was getting angry and it made him want to not do what Castiel wanted. "Maybe when I feel like you should see them, I'll get them."

"What does that even mean?"

"It means I'm not getting them." He walked around Castiel and grabbed his keys.

"Where are you going?"

Dean ignored him and grabbed his coat. Castiel called after him when he opened the door.

"Fine, run away. Just like you always do."

He hesitated a moment, wishing he could be different but he couldn't. He slammed the door shut behind him and got in his car.

Dean found himself at his parent's house. He was parked in the street, wanting to go in and have his mom comfort or support him, but he couldn't muster the courage to turn into the driveway. He drove by and ended up going to Bobby's.

Bobby let him tinker with some of the so called 'lost cases' in his junk yard. It was the best thing Dean could do when upset. He didn't even know why he was mad, and he felt like more of an ass every minute. His phone had vibrated in his pocket a few times before he put it on his jacket behind him.

Castiel must have figured out the calling tree. It only took an hour to locate and drive to Dean. Dean heard his footsteps crunching on the gravel long before he spoke.

"You didn't answer me." Dean turned with a retort in mind about the pictures, when he saw Castiel looking through his phone's missed messages.

"I was busy." He pointed to the useless car in front of him.

He nodded, tossing the phone back where he found it. Dean expected him to talk, but he sat on the trunk of a car next to Dean. When it was obvious he wasn't going to talk, Dean continued on the car.

It was a good fifteen minutes before Castiel spoke. He was staring off above Bobby's house.

"I don't wanna fight. I won't bring any of this up again."

Dean looked up from his crouched position and was hurt by Castiel's blank face. "Cas, I'm sorry." Castiel just blinked in response. "I don't want to fight either."

Castiel laughed bitterly. "You never do. Your default seems to always be to bolt. You did it when I woke up, when your family didn't leave, today, and I'm sure many more. If you stayed and fought, you might get something."

Dean stood and moved closer to Castiel, who still wasn't looking at him. "I didn't think I had to fight for you, not anymore."

Castiel turned to look at him. "What do you mean?"

"When we were younger, I was usually the one going after you and you were running. It was obvious to me then that you wanted me and cared but you were scared or unavailable." He shook his head.

"So, we've basically switched roles now?"

Dean laughed. "I guess."

Castiel couldn't imagine turning Dean away. "Look, I mean it, about the pictures and everything. I won't bring it up anymore."

Dean nodded. "You said that you knew how much I…cared and…"

"That you loved me." Castiel smiled. "You really can't say it, can you? I've noticed that. When it actually means something, you can't say the words: I love you."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Sure, whatever. How though, can you tell?"

Castiel smiled like he had to humor a child. "Dean, you're really not as good at hiding it as you think. But I knew the day you brought me home. When you ran, or after really. The looks on your family's faces was telling enough. I could see how heartbroken they were for you and I knew that you had to love me more than I thought for them to look that way. Then, when you came home it was obvious to me."

"Wow."

"Let me tell you, it is impossible to resist someone who loves you so much." He leaned closer to him, eyes shining. Dean looked down to hide his smile. "Even though you won't let me do as much as I want with you."

Dean coughed to hide the laughter. "That's because it means something different to me, Cas."

"I know." Castiel slid off the car, hoping to turn the conversation around. "What are you doing with this car?" He pointed to the junk Dean had been messing with.

"Maybe changing the curve of the door?" He laughed. "About all I can do really. I just needed to do something with my hands."

Castiel smiled, brushing close to Dean. "I can think of some ways for you to use your hands."

Dean laughed. "I bet." He faced Castiel and grabbed his hands. Castiel raised a brow and pulled on Dean's hands. They kissed briefly.

"Come on, it's our day off." Castiel led him back to the house and collected their things before heading home.

A few days later, Castiel asked Dean something he wasn't prepared for.

"What was it like the first time we had sex?"

Dean barely swallowed his food. "Sorry, what?"

"You heard me." Castiel was sitting on the couch as Dean stood behind it with a take-out bag from Harvelle's.

"Yeah, I think I did." Dean walked around the front of the couch. He was trying to judge the seriousness on Castiel's face. He seemed serious. "Why?"

He shrugged. "I'm curious." Dean set his bag of food on the coffee table and sat next to Castiel. He looked at Dean. "Unless it wasn't good or something."

"No, that was one thing we were always good at." Dean laughed.

Castiel scooted across the couch to sit as close as possible. "Really?" He leaned over and kissed Dean. He pushed Dean back a little and kissed him again.

Dean held Castiel back. "Do you want me to tell you or not?"

He groaned and frowned before sitting back. "Tell me."

"Okay," he turned toward Castiel a little more, lifting a leg up on the couch, "it was the end of our sophomore year at college. We had been dating for about a month and we had always been roommates. One night, we were both in our beds and you came over to mine and joined me. I thought you just wanted to make out or sleep with me, we had done that before, but you were prepared and surprised me."

Dean laughed and shrugged. Castiel put his hands up. "That's it? Come on, give me more than that."

"What, you want me to tell you every detail?"

"No, but a little more than that would be nice." Castiel smiled, waiting patiently for Dean to elaborate.

"Okay, well, you came over to my bed and I let you in, like I said, and after we had made out for a while, you started taking my pants off. I asked you what you were doing and you just kept going. Before I knew it, we both lost our pants and you were on top of me."

Castiel leaned forward as Dean talked and starting leaving light kisses up Dean's neck. His voice faltered slightly but he didn't stop.

"You had been with guys before and I hadn't so you kinda took control of what happened."

"And what happened?" Castiel kissed behind his ear.

"You…uh," Dean suddenly lost his voice as Castiel nipped and kissed gently around his ear and neck. "We, well you know."

Castiel laughed. "You said I was on top of you?" Dean nodded. "Did I ride you, Dean?"

His breath was shaky. "Yes. We always pissed off the guys in the dorms near us, we were so loud."

Castiel hummed and shifted himself to straddle Dean. "So, what you're saying is: I rode you hard and it was so good and loud that the neighbors heard it?"

"Well, we were in the same building as them, but yes." Dean rested his hands on Castiel's hips.

They stayed still for a moment, just looking at each other. Castiel wanted nothing more than to reenact that night, but Dean hadn't let them get that far yet. He pulled Dean's face close and kissed him. Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel's back and held him close.

They kissed for a while and only stopped when Castiel began rotating his hips and making Dean gasp.

"Cas," Dean tugged Castiel's head back by his hair, making the other man moan.

It didn't stop Castiel's movements, in fact he sped them up. He smiled in victory when Dean moaned quietly and leaned forward against Castiel.

"Dammit, Cas." Dean cupped Castiel's face and pulled him in for a rough kiss.

Castiel kissed back and slid his hand down Dean's chest, stopping over his jeans and the bulge that was forming there. He pressed his hand down firmly, jumping when Dean suddenly pulled back.

"Cas, wait." He grabbed Castiel's shoulders and pushed him back a little.

"Why?" He stopped moving but didn't back away.

"I just…" Dean couldn't really come up with an answer. He wanted Castiel, sure, but something was stopping him from letting him continue.

"Dean," Castiel laid his hands on Dean's shoulders, "the first time we did this, we had been dating a month. It's been a few months this time."

"I know, but it's different." They had been dating for a month, but had known each other for years. Now, Castiel was different. Not that Dean would've waited this long for other people, but with his history with Castiel it didn't seem right yet.

Castiel could read as much on his face and felt a pain in his chest. He wondered if he would ever be worthy to replace the memory of Dean's old Castiel. He pushed himself off Dean and stood up.

"Okay, I understand."

The flat tone in his voice worried Dean. "Cas, it's not a problem with you."

Castiel put a hand up to silence him. "I know, Dean. It's okay. I have some homework I need to do anyway." He moved toward his room.

"They make you do homework?"

"No, I have the option and I want to do it tonight." Without looking back, he shut the door behind him.

Dean sat on the couch for another ten minutes, wondering how he came to be such a jerk. Over the last week he had done a good job at pissing off and pushing away Castiel. If he kept this up, he might never get his boyfriend back.


	7. Chapter 7

They were rushing around each other as they got ready for work, Castiel for school. Neither said a word to the other as they were both running later than usual. It wasn't until Dean had opened the door that he stopped and looked at Castiel.

"Hey," the other man stopped as he threw on his coat, "about last night, I'm sorry…"

Castiel shushed him and stepped up close. "I know, it's fine." He smiled and pulled on the front of his shirt. Dean let himself be pulled into a short kiss. "Honestly." As Dean smiled in relief, Castiel dropped his hand.

"Good. Have fun in class."

"I will." Castiel gave Dean's butt a good smack as he stepped out the door. Dean turned with a 'hey!' and Castiel just smiled and shut the door.

He watched Dean get into his car as he grabbed his keys. He was leaving now as well, but he wasn't going to class. The students were taking a test today, one he didn't have to take, and he had other plans.

Castiel pulled into the parking lot across the street from the Crossroads Law firm. He made his way through the lobby and up to Sam's office. His receptionist, Meg, had to rudely tell him that Sam was busy, while flirting with him at the same time for a few minutes before caving and letting him go in.

Castiel knocked on the large door to Sam's office. Sam told him to come in and Castiel entered the room slowly. Sam was looking through some papers on his desk. He hadn't been there long and was still drinking the coffee Jessica had made for him. He looked up as he approached and smiled when he saw who it was.

"Cas, hey what's up? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. I just wanted to talk to you about something." He sat in the chair across from Sam's desk.

Sam put his papers in a file so he could give his full attention to Castiel. "Sure."

"Dean won't talk about this with me and I know that you know something."

Sam looked wary. "What are we talking about, Cas?"

"I asked Dean about marriage and it led to a fight. I know he's keeping something from me and I can't wait for him to get over whatever is bothering him."

"Dean will be pissed if I tell you."

"I'll be pissed if you don't, and I'll go around the family until someone spills the beans." Sam still looked like he would refuse. "I know how much Dean cares and I can't imagine what he's gone through with me losing my memory but this isn't how it should be dealt with, and I think you agree." He could read as much on Sam's face.

"I told him not to hide anything from you." Sam sighed heavily, disheveling his hair with both hands. "What do you want to know?"

Castiel returned home from work that night with a lot more knowledge than he had when he left the house. Dean had been home long enough to shower and change before Castiel walked in the door.

"Hey, how was your class?" Dean ran his hands through his still wet hair. It was getting longer than he usually kept it.

"I didn't go to class." He kept his voice calm, wanting Dean to know that he wasn't joking.

Dean furrowed his brows. "What were you rushing around for this morning then?"

"I wanted you to think I was at school, but I had other plans today."

"What plans?"

"Sit down." He motioned to the table.

Dean smiled nervously. "Why?"

"I want to talk to you. Sit down." He moved to the chair on the opposite side of the table and stood waiting for Dean. The other man hesitated for a moment, not knowing what to expect and assumed the worst.

"Well, that doesn't sound ominous." Dean tried to smile as he sat across from Castiel.

Castiel sat down slowly, keeping eye contact with Dean. He took a deep breath and laid his hands on the table. "Dean, I'm sorry that you miss the part of me that I've forgotten. I wish I could give him back to you."

Dean closed his eyes and bowed his head. He thought he knew where this was going. Castiel had finally gotten tired of being pushed away and Dean had no one to blame but himself. "Cas, you don't have to say any more. I think I know what this is about." He looked up at him. "If you want to leave, I won't stop you."

Castiel tilted his head slightly. "What? Dean, I don't want to leave." He reached across the table and took Dean's hands in his. "I'm not going anywhere, I told you that."

Hope sparked in Dean, making him smile slightly. "What is this about then?"

"I know how much our accident hurt you and changed me. I want you to tell me why you blame yourself. No one else blames you, I don't, and you shouldn't."

Dean shook his head. "I was driving, I wasn't hurt as badly, of course I blame myself."

Castiel tightened his lips. "Tell me the truth."

"That is the truth."

"No it's not." He held Dean's hands tightly, not letting him pull away.

The look in Castiel's eyes let Dean know that he wasn't bluffing. He already knew the truth. "Why do you need me to tell you what you already know?"

"I want you to say it."

Dean stared at him, debating what he could do. Part of him wanted to run, part of him wanted to fight, but he didn't do either. He licked his lips and shifted in his chair. Castiel massaged his hands gently.

"It's my fault. We would have never been out that night if it wasn't for me. We should've been here. I would give anything to change what happened." Castiel nodded for him to continue. "We were on our way to get married that night. I had finally talked you into going to the courthouse. We should have waited."

They were silent a moment. Castiel continued rubbing small comforting circles into Dean's hands.

"Dean, you shouldn't feel that way. None of this was your fault. Nobody blames you."

"You wanted to wait. I made you go."

"I doubt that." Castiel scooted his chair around the table to sit beside Dean. "Do you really think you could make me do anything, then or now?" Dean shook his head slowly with a smile. "I know, now at least, that I would marry you under any circumstance. I wouldn't need a party or anything more than the two of us. If I feel that strongly now, a part of me had to before the accident. I'm still the same person and I went with you because I wanted to marry you, not because you forced me to go."

Castiel could see the rebuttal forming in Dean's eyes. He cupped Dean's face and leaned closer. "So stop blaming yourself and stop trying to protect me from things that only hurt you. I want to be with you, I choose it. Let me."

Dean swallowed back the sudden lump in his throat. He put his hands over Castiel's and touched their foreheads together. He could guess that Sam or his mom had told him. He wanted to be angry about it, but he couldn't find the strength.

They pressed together in a deep kiss. Dean pulled Castiel close by his hips. Castiel hummed and ran his fingers through Dean's hair, tugging slightly on the wet locks. Dean moaned and pressed harder into Castiel.

Castiel moved to kiss Dean's neck and ear. "I want you, Dean."

His voice made Dean shiver. Castiel continued kissing him. Dean nodded, grabbing Castiel's hips tight. "Yeah, okay." He kissed Castiel. "Anything you want, Cas."

He leaned back and looked Dean in the eye. "Really?" Dean nodded again. Castiel smiled and stood, taking Dean with him. He pulled him in for a kiss as he started walking back through the living room towards Dean's room.

They didn't break their kiss as they moved carefully through the doorway and over the mess of clothes on Dean's floor. Dean pulled Castiel closer with an arm around his hips, making the other man make a surprised noise into their kiss.

A few minutes passed of them kissing beside the bed. Then, Castiel turned them and shoved Dean to a sitting position on the edge of the mattress. He seated himself on Dean's lap and kissed him hard.

Dean curled his hands around the back of Castiel's shoulders, pressing them together. Castiel's hips rotated in slow circles as they kissed. Dean's heart was pounding in his ears and his body was reacting favorably to the nice weight of Castiel on him. He had missed this, although they had done similar things before, he knew this would end differently.

Castiel breathed out a short laugh when Dean pushed him forward with a hand on his butt. When Dean tried to start pulling off Castiel's shirt, he pushed him back to lay flat on the bed.

His stomach flipped slightly as Castiel took his hands and pinned them above his head, a smile on his face. He pushed his head up to meet Castiel in a kiss.

Castiel slipped his hands under Dean's shirt, pulling it up as far as he could before Dean had to sit up to remove it. He was pushed back down after Castiel tossed it to the floor. They kissed again as Castiel's hands roamed Dean's chest and stomach.

Dean gasped as Castiel lightly ran fingernails over sensitive skin. His hips thrusted up against Castiel before he could stop them. Castiel responded with a thrust of his own and a nip at Dean's neck. Dean tried to turn them over but was stopped with a push and a head shake from Castiel.

"Move up and take off your clothes." His deep voice sent a small shock through Dean and all he could do was nod in agreement.  
Castiel stood and searched through the drawer next to the bed, knowing Dean had some lube there. He set it on the small table and took off his clothes.

Dean had positioned himself on the bed, leaning up on his elbows to watch Castiel make his way onto the bed. He crawled up his body slowly and kissed him. Castiel laid flat against him, rolling his hips enough to make Dean arch up and dig his fingers into Castiel's back.

Taking advantage of Dean's thrown back head, Castiel kissed his throat and collar bones. Dean sighed Castiel's name and gripped him tighter.

Castiel sat up to straddle him and rocked his hips over Dean's quickly hardening dick. Dean grabbed his hips, trying to move him faster, but Castiel continued his slow movements.

"Cas, please." Dean's toes curled and the urge to thrust up and fuck Castiel was growing.

He had some mercy on Dean and reached over to retrieve the lube he had left on the side table. He handed it to Dean. "Get me ready." Although Castiel had done this many times before, he didn't remember the particulars.

Dean nodded and popped open the tube. "Move up a little." He couldn't reach where he needed easily where Castiel was currently. Castiel moved up to straddle him around his ribs as Dean covered a couple fingers generously. He was a heavy weight on Dean's chest, but it didn't bother him.

Castiel clamped his eyes shut as Dean carefully inserted a finger into him. Dean told him to relax and let him adjust before moving his finger in and out slowly. Soon he added another and Castiel was moaning loudly and pushing back on Dean's fingers.

He begged for more and Dean added a third finger after adding more lube. Castiel cried out and grabbed Dean's hair to brace himself and thrust back. Dean curled his fingers, hitting his prostate, and Castiel bucked forward with a moan. He then reached back and stroked Dean in time with his movements.

"Dean, I'm ready." Castiel knew he wouldn't last long if Dean kept doing what he was doing.

Dean nodded and removed his fingers. He used more lube to coat himself with as Castiel moved into position above him. Castiel looked at Dean, waiting until he was ready and let Dean line himself up before lowering himself down. He went slow and groaned as he was filled more and more.

Once he was fully inside Castiel, Dean had to resist the urge to flip them and drive into Castiel hard. It had been a while since either one of them had done this and Castiel didn't even remember ever doing this, he had to be careful.

It didn't take long for Castiel's body to take over and start moving. His hands were on Dean's chest as he circled and lifted his hips. Dean laid his hands on him to help guide his speed and moves.

Dean whispered encouragements and moaned when he would change pace or angle of his thrusts. It didn't take long for Dean to start pushing up against him and striking his prostate. Castiel clenched around Dean as pleasure shot through him, making Dean see stars and arch up.

Castiel took Dean's hands, weaving their fingers together, and moved faster. The bed creaked and shook as Castiel chased release. Both men were lost in their coming orgasms, tightening their hands together, and gasping each other's names. Castiel leaned over to kiss Dean, moaning with the new angle and feeling it gave him.

"Fuck, Cas." Dean wanted to wrap his arms around Castiel but his hands were still entwined with Castiel's. He moaned again as Castiel nipped his ear and licked around its shell. "I love you."

Castiel looked at Dean with surprise in his eyes before kissing him hard and picking up the pace even more. They stayed close, sharing breath, when Castiel's grip tightened more and he moaned loudly, coming over Dean's stomach. He kissed Dean as his come covered Dean and his body tightened and shook with release.

It was all more than enough to send Dean over the edge and come hard in Castiel. Both of them caught their breath and let their bodies relax. When Castiel released Dean's hands, he rubbed Castiel's sides comfortingly and kissed him.

"You okay?" Dean could feel him shaking.

He nodded. "Yeah, I just…give me a minute." Castiel took a few deep breaths before moving off Dean to lie beside him.

"You know," Dean looked at his soiled stomach, "I just took a shower, Cas."

"I know." He smiled at him. "But I haven't, and we might as well conserve water." Dean looked at him and he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Dean laughed. "It would only be economical, right?"

They moved off the bed a few minutes later to take a long, hot shower that ended with Castiel screaming and coming over the tiled walls as Dean fucked him. This of course, led to a longer shower. By the time they were ready for bed, they both collapsed together on Dean's bed and fell asleep almost immediately.

The following morning, Dean told Castiel that it was stupid for him to have to sleep in his own room since he spent half his nights with him anyway. Castiel agreed and moved his stuff back to Dean's room after he got home from work that night. It was a good step forward for them and Dean almost felt like they were getting close to being like they were before the accident. There was just one more thing he needed to do before that happened.

A couple days after moving rooms, Castiel came home early from work and Dean was still in the shower. He saw the difference almost immediately. With slow steps, like it could dissolve if he made a noise, Castiel moved to the living room and the shelf near the television. A line of pictures in wooden frames filled the shelf. There had only been a couple there when he left for school.

Castiel picked up each one and smiled more with each picture. There were some with Castiel and Dean's parents at various events: sporting events, graduation, and what looked like a Christmas party. There were also pictures of him and Dean together on dates and at Sam's wedding. Castiel had seen most of those on Facebook.

The last picture on the shelf was him and Dean in their tree house from when they were teenagers. He looked a little annoyed at having his picture taken, but Dean had his arm around him with a dazzling smile.

He was so busy looking at the picture that he missed Dean walking towards him. He jumped slightly when Dean put his arms around his waist. Dean kissed the back of his neck and smiled.

Castiel turned to face him after putting the picture back. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't find the words so he pulled him close and kissed him. Dean got the message.

"So, what should we have for dinner?" Dean stepped back, holding Castiel's hands loosely.

Castiel smiled and told him to make whatever he wanted. Now it seemed like they could finally put everything behind them and move forward together. They weren't hiding anything from each other and they could forget about the accident and truly be happy.

* * *

Dean woke up slowly. The room was dim with early morning sunrise and the covers were warm over him. The man next to him warmed him just as much. Castiel was sleeping quietly, curled up close to Dean. He smiled and ran a hand through Castiel's hair, making the man stir slightly. Dean leaned over and kissed him softly, running his hand over Castiel's cheek.

Castiel made a small noise and cracked an eye open. He smiled at Dean, closing his eyes again. He didn't want to get up yet.

"You know what today is?" Dean couldn't keep the excitement out of his voice. Castiel laughed, keeping his eyes shut.

"I do." He sighed happily when Dean kissed him again. His hands held Dean close so he could kiss him again. The kiss escalated quickly and Dean was on top of Castiel, hands tangling in his shirt.

Castiel broke the kiss and pushed Dean back a little. "Dean…"

"What?" He shifted above Castiel to keep his weight off him. "We have time."

"Isn't that breaking the tradition?"

"When have we ever been any kind of traditional?" He laughed. "We already spent the night together and live together, so wedding tradition already broken." He pushed down to kiss Castiel while he tried to protest.

"We still need to get ready."

Dean hummed in mild agreement and kissed him again. "We have time."

"Dean…" Castiel sighed, knowing he would give in soon. It was still only seven, they did have time. He wrapped his arms around Dean, pressing them together tightly. Yeah, they had plenty of time for this.

They left the house a few hours later. Dean hesitated before getting in the Impala. Castiel noticed the small fear in Dean's eyes. He walked over and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Everything okay?"

Dean looked at Castiel as memories of the accident surfaced. He couldn't help but feel like it would happen again. He tried to smile and nodded. "I'm fine."

Castiel could see what this was about. "Dean, it's been a year since the accident. Just because we're going to the same place, doesn't mean anything. We'll be fine and when we come home, we'll be married." He cupped Dean's cheek and kissed him.

Dean felt a small comfort at Castiel's words. It didn't take all his nerves away for the drive over but it helped.

They were greeted at the courthouse by Sam and a very pregnant Jess. She was due in a couple months and Dean smiled widely when he was reminded of his approaching nephew. They all went inside where Dean's parents were waiting for them.

The ceremony was short but enough to send Mary into tears. After signing the paperwork, they all headed to the hall where their friends were gathering for the reception Castiel and Sam had planned. Jo, Ellen, and Bobby greeted them with tight hugs and all seemed right with the world.

Dean and Castiel danced like drunk fools again as the night darkened. The reception lasted well after midnight and they had to force people to leave so the poor employees could clean up the room.

They fell through their front door laughing and already pulling off each other's suit jackets. It was clumsy and they couldn't stop laughing, but they managed to make it to their room and tumble into bed together.

Dean lifted Castiel's hand and kissed his ring, eyes shining happily. "I love you, Cas."

Castiel smiled. "I love you too, Dean."


End file.
